Sunday, October 4, 2020

Overwhelmed

I thought I had left a few things behind, anger, pain and anxiety amongst them. Until this weekend they all caught up again. 

I wake from a heaviness in my heart, mind clouded with a million thoughts, bleak and unforgiving.

No book, no master, no affirmation, just me, overwhelmed by my loneliness and I turn to you again.

My trusted nook of feelings, I pour once more into your bosom, my reasons for despair, my rotten and dead dreams, and my longing for love.

Should I wait to die alone, unloved, uncared, or should I end this journey in a spectacular flash, I wonder, as I walk past these familiar streets. 

How many times I think of death, mostly to check in with myself, if there is a regret, but all I find is a nothingness within. 

Ek Sach

 Hum apne aap se bhi chup ke rote hain