No.. not this time either

do i smile once more on your naivety my dream
or do i grimace at this melancholy

do i stare unblinking into the sun
or do i pretend its the moon instead

do i look into your eyes deep and accept how near yet how far
or do i just close my eyes and dream on

do i let myself feel the warmth of your presence
or do i let the cold of life make me shiver

all imaginary questions i know, my oasis
but you won't ever know how it feels
these endless years in the desert
only to find my oasis was just a mirage

confessions

even though in my waking hours I will always deny, I know I am ashamed of how old how soon I have become.
I hide , I lie  and I do it so many times , that the lie becomes a truth to me. Sweet lord, I wish a honest life I could lead, a truthful tale that I could tell , and not become a man who fears the image in his mirror. Alas I become the same each passing day.

saying without words

serenity..i saw you

..roads to nowhere lead to me

may be this time

this evening i felt the breeze
i saw the beauty of the setting sun
i saw the world in its orange light
i felt the warmth of my own true smile

i stood still and my heart orbited the distant moon
fluttering its wings & gliding into the greying blue sky

i saw myself beside the road
without a care for the rushing world
a glint in the eye and arms open wide
smiling back at me, for no reason or rhyme

i felt the moments come and stop
each second was a lifetimes worth
as the sky grew dark
i saw the sun moon and stars

frozen in time i fear the thaw
sure as winter follows the summer
so will these moments soon go by
like sand it slips from my very hand
can i not hold on to a single grain?

or maybe this time
oh maybe this time

ode to an oasis

This poison i drink
like sweet wine
a half promise
more than half sometimes
...stranger i thank your lonely glance

neither is this about finding nor is it about loosing, just a fragrant breeze in life. This oasis i stumble upon, as my parched eyes begin to droop from the weight of those infinite, endless, ravenous searches; across the horizon, for that far away dreamed of verdant land.
an ode i struggle to write for my beautiful oasis, for words they fail to describe the sight that beholds the vagabond's eye.
another crossroad in life, another bend on the road uphill, which makes me want to stay forever in its virginal warmth.

soak in the moments while they last
no desire, no despair, no longing, no greed
just the thirsty me & my serendipitous oasis

A close observation of my own reactions to people/situations has revealed that I am growing up, little by little every day.